Nephailia Mortalitas Desdemonia

022511

Nephälia — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:46:08 +0000

Hello! I made this short flipnote on my brother’s DSi a while ago, and I wanted to post it here. Drawing using technology is rather hard for me, so I’m proud of it… Enjoy ^-^

A sad poem

Nephälia — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 01:56:25 +0000

I wrote this poem (I changed it a little when I typed it up) because I was thinking about… stuff that would be sad if it happened… And honestly, when I was done writing this poem, I cried. I guess I just visualize stuff extremely vividly in my head… And it’s JUST SO SAD. I will feel stupid if people don’t think it’s as sad as I do, and for that reason I was afraid to share it with ANYONE for about a week after I wrote it. But here it is, please honestly tell me what you think.

It’s all in slow motion

The ashes are falling, sprinkling like snow

The people are screaming and trying to run

The world is on fire, and I don’t know

Where you are, but then I see

You lying there, bleeding

My heart pounds in my head as I run over

I see that at least you’re still alive-

For now.

So I scream for a doctor

Please! Save him!

But nobody hears

They are deafened by their cries of fear

So I’ll save you myself!

I must! I can’t let you die!

I kneel down to try

But your wound, so red, so fierce

It’s right over your dying heart

It’s creating it’s own demise

Pumping all the life out of you

I cry so hard it hurts more than any other pain, for there is no hope

Choking on the death filled smoke

I’m holding you, wishing that miracles were true

When you die, I surely will too

Your pale hand reaches up to touch my face

But you, a great warrior, have lost all your strength

So I hold your hand, and bring it up to my cheek

It shall be the last thing you ever shall feel

For then, your arm drops, limp and heavy

The life fades from your eyes

I burst out in tears

And there I lie

And I’ll stay here with you

No one can make me leave your side

I’ll lie here forever

Until the day that I die.

going on about dreams.. because I feel like it.

Nephälia — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 22:41:09 +0000

I love how random my dreams are. I guess normally, you’re supposed to have dreams about places you’d normally go to and people you’d normally see, but in my dreams, I go to weird places I hadn’t been to ever before but then sometime in the future I actually go there. Like once, I dreamed about moving into this house, and it had a drive through on the first floor, and a kitchen and people were working ther, and then there was a fire.. But anyway, a year-ish later, I was in the car and I went by a house I’d never seen but looked familiar, and I thought “Whoa! I had a dream about that house..” There’s been creepier things like that to have happened.. I had this horrible dream when I was little about my family getting publicly executed because they were turkeys and they were going to make pie out of them? Well it made sense in the dream! But there was this house in the dream, twas where we were supposed to be staying or something… and a few years later I realized it was the house of someone I hate… (but I didn’t know of them or of their house when I had the dream).

I also have weird reoccurring dreams, some about this weird extremely hazardous indoor playground, it’s about 1000 feet tall and has tunnels that lead to strange places, and some about a theme park with a Disneyland/Storyland mix but extremely creepy- it’s always this weird lighting, like as soon as you leave the boundaries of the park, it is really dark.

Sometimes I have really disturbingly vivid dreams.

I wish I knew why they are like this..I don’t believe in tradtional symbolism though, so “dream interpreter” stuff doesn’t make any sense. I never want to stop having strange dreams. They’re an escape from the usual (cheesy thing to say.. yes). I love them.

Black

Nephälia — Thu, 20 May 2010 02:03:08 +0000

This is a free form poem I wrote because I was inspired by how my checkered black and white skinny jeans occasionally give people headaches. (For your information, it has a specific rhythm and sounds best if you read it fastly -that’s a word, you know- which is indicated subtley by the lack of punctuation)

Black

I am sittingsittingsitting

In a dark dark room on a dark dark chair with a black checkered cloth

Oh! Terrible cloth!

It is spatteredspatteredspattered with blood-red blood

And it stares and it glares and it tears my brain

Making my mind go to pieces as it so blankly stares

But I can’t no I can’t NO I CAN’T! Just leave

For there’s a camera watching me and I can’t breathe

And it glares and it stares it records my every move

And the room’s pitch black and I’m all alone

Except for that camera and that tablecloth

They are staring they are glaring and they won’t look away

As I’m gritting my teeth and stabbing my broken fingernails

Into my palms

And the bloodthebloodtheblood

It drip-drips down

Flowing out of my cuts like little red fountains

Running down my hands to that horrendous cloth

Where it soaks into the black and white squares

While the redred recording light

Reflects off of the liquid

As it blinks it stares and it staresstaresstares

I am breathingbreathing fasterfasterfaster than before

And I’m shaking and I’m shaking and I’m gritting my teeth

While the blood runs ever-red down my pale pale palms

I can’t breathe and I swear

That the walls are closing in

And the air is getting thicker

And that accursed cursed tablecloth!

It stares ever more!

How I wish for my demise!

It is coming ever faster

As that despised glaring cloth

And that cold staring camera

Relentlessly torture my soul!

Which is fading

Fadingfading from the world

They are sucking it out

Slurping every last drop

Until my body goes limp

Just an empty shell

And my eyes roll back

As the world fades

Black.

Changeling

Nephälia — Thu, 20 May 2010 01:38:31 +0000

Last night, I had to write a sestina. Sestinas are kind of hard, as you must repeat the last word in each line in a certain cycle. - though sestinas do not have a specific rhyme or rhythm-Say the first line’s last word is A and the next B and so on until you are up to F (a sestina is six sestets -six line stanzas- and a concluding tercet -a three line stanza). The pattern for the last words of the stanzas is such:

A
B
C
D
E
F

F
A
B
C
D
E

E
F
A
B
C
D

D
E
F
A
B
C

C
D
E
F
A
B

B
C
D
E
F
A

then traditionally the tercet goes (with two of the end-words in each line)

B/E

D/C

F/A

Complicated, no?

Here is mine. I will underline the end words.

Sometimes demons come out in the night

They come to take your child

To exchange them for their own

No one knows what happens to the ones taken

Many people have tried to figure it out

The demons laugh, for those silly mortals will never know

I am a demon changeling I know

Sometimes my eyes change colour in the night

I’ve known I was different ever since I was a child

I’ve figured it all out on my own

I hope the demons (that had the human-me taken)

Come to take the real me, to explain it all out [I really hate this line, but it HAD to end with out..]

It’s not that I want my human life out [eewh I don't like this one very much either]

For it has taught me everything I know

But as a human, you can’t go out at night

At least, when you’re a human child

And when you’re human, you can’t make up rules of your own

Other humans can be quite tiresome, many of them I wish had been taken

Yes, when it comes to my life, I wish the human-me had not been taken

So I could live as a demon, going out

To do anything I wanted, and I would know

For sure the truths of the world, and in the night

I could have fun with my demon-friends, though I’m still a child

I could make up all my rules on my own

Why did my demon-parents leave me on my own

With all of these ignorant humans? I want to be taken

Back to my real home. Why did they leave me all alone out

Here? Why does this mortal world have to be all that I know?

I want the creatures of the night

To take me back, for I am a demon-child

Well perhaps my demon-parents couldn’t keep a child

I know nothing of the rules in this world I can’t yet calll my own

Maybe they needed to wait until I was older so I may be taken

Back to their home. I need to find out

Who I really am, I want to know

The truths of the night

This child of the night

Has been taken from her world. On her own

She must find out for herself the things that all demons know.

I love my English class.

Nephälia — Mon, 17 May 2010 23:18:54 +0000

For English homework tonight, I had to write a sonnet, either a Shakespearean sonnet or an Italian sonnet. I thought structured poetry that had to have a specific rhythm and rhyme patter would be boring, but it’s actually extremely fun and challenging, as long as you have a thesaurus, a rhyming dictionary, and a dictionary with you (or you could just use the mystical magical internet). The rhythm (iambic pentameter if you were wondering what it was called, even if you don’t care about poetry as much as I do it’s quite fun to say…) reminded me of marching. I don’t think I’d be able to write a sonnet that wasn’t about death, war, or some type of negative emotion. Well, I don’t think I’d be able to write a free form poem about happiness either, being me. But here is my sonnet (I’m posting it here before my English teacher can steal it away from me like she did the last one!).

We are going to dominate the world

That tyrant will be nothing against our wrath

As we march with blood red banners unfurled

He will have to face the aftermath

This power hungry thing you’ve held so dear

You know you were so blinded by his lies

He tortures us whilst there he sits and sneers

When he threw us down he severed all our ties

You call me “evil.” You know not the truth

For “evil” was done by your “god” himself

Your theologians could never pass for sleuths

Their simple minds have now betrayed themselves.

This Hitler shall now stop his bigotry

My strength and power he shall finally see.

Sebastian and the Severed Arms

Nephälia — Wed, 12 May 2010 01:01:26 +0000

-This is a bit off-topic, but I felt like posting it- I drew this picture.. a while ago now. It's severed arms, nailed in an artistic formation to a basement wall, dripping with blood (I think there's a bit too much blood.. maybe not, I've never severed an arm...)

Hello. So I’ve been making the characters lately. I still need a few more names.. but that’s easy and fun, so whatever. I drew Sebastian Damien Lucifer (the main character) AS A REAL PERSON! Yes, I was proud. At first he looked a little too Asian (he’s not supposed to be), but I fixed it. Now I have to draw the rest of him (other than his head), which for some reason I can’t get to be proportionally correct (which I am usually good at). I think I was just making the shoulders too broad and squared. I’ve been doing a lot of work on character personalities and backstories. One good thing to do is to take one of those question-note things on the Book of Faces (a.k.a. Facebook), the ones that ask questions about random things, and fill them out from your character’s point of view. I used that for Sebastian and Ashlar Chaos Grigori (his best friend) and I realized two things: I need to give the characters more of a voice, and I need to make up names for the things in their world (for example, skateboarding can’t be called skateboarding, soda can’t be called soda…), also brand names in their time would be nice (this takes place maybe 200 years in the future after civilization as we now know it has changed). I wish I could spend most of my time writing this book, but I still have to go to school…